Is Suicide an Option?

Tonight on the Spiritual Whispers Radio Program I will be joined by Linelle to discuss suicide. 

I've thought about leaving the planet myself - I never thought of it as "suicide" - more like I just didn't want to be here anymore.  The first time was in the 6th grade when the boy I had a HUGE crush on came up to me one crisp fall morning before school and told me LOUDLY, in front of all my friends that I was uglier than the South bound end of a North bound mule.  To add insult to injury I had Parry Romberg Disease (now it is a Syndrome) and the left side of my face had no fatty tissue - it was skeletal with skin stretched over the bone.

Of course I started to cry. Then the school bell rang and the teacher of my first class wanted to know what happened.  My "best friend" LOUDLY told the teacher what happened outside - word for word.  So anyone that wasn't standing near enough to hear outside, heard it inside.  My heart was crushed with embarrassment twice within fifteen minutes.

My mom had to come get me.  Then I had to see the school counselor whose approach really didn't help, instead I felt like others thought I was crazy.  So I didn't feel like I fit in, I was deeply embarrassed because the entire school knew I had a crush on this boy and how he felt about me and he was right - in our society of beauty, I was NOT going to win any beauty pageants. 

I was done and I wanted to leave.  

Then an odd thing happened...  something shifted inside me and instead of wanting to leave, I stomped my foot and refused to allow anyone to hurt me like that again - ever. I took my power back.  I couldn't control what I looked like or what was going on with my body, but I could control my grades and I worked my tail off to get "A's" - graduating in the top ten percent of my class.

About a year after graduation I ran into the boy I had a crush on, the one who "ruined my life" in 6th grade, at a convenience store.  No, I didn't physically run over him with my car...  I bumped into him when I came out of the store as he was going in.  And... he apologized for what he said to me that day seven years before.  

I was so surprised he even remembered.  I had forgiven him years before, but I never forgot.  I told him he was forgiven, we talked, laughed and I went on my way.

Then I saw him again on a Friday night in the Piggly Wiggly parking lot.  The parking lot was full of "partying" kids in cars, sitting on cars and walking around.  I remember standing beside his truck talking to him - he was driving and had been drinking.  Next thing I knew the parking lot was being raided by deputies and state troopers.  The sheriff himself walked over and told me to move my car and told my "friend" to get out of his truck.  I moved the car alright - out the back of the parking lot and all the way home.  I wasn't drinking, but my friend was, so he went to jail.  I really felt bad about that...  but like so many things, it was out of my control... 

There are so many moments in our lives that we "feel" like we have no options, but in my fifty (almost fifty-one) years on the planet I've learned that we ALWAYS have options.  When life events occur that are painful they are really golden opportunities to connect with the God Part within us and heal the pain.  It is in the reconnection with the light within that the options are revealed to us.  

There is no doubt that the physical world teaches us that we are separate and alone and sometimes that teaching of separation becomes a form of isolation that is all but unbearable.  It is in those moments of deepest despair that opening our heart to the love that we are and allowing God's loving light to guide us will give us the strength to step into our power and claim the life we came here to live.

Everyone has this power, no matter how deep in despair we are, we still have the spark of God's loving light within us.  Looking within and connecting with this light changes everything.  Through the light options are revealed and one of them is NOT suicide.

Tools to reconnect with the divine light within:
* Meditation
* Journaling
* Gratitude - The Power of Gratitude guided meditation as my gift here
* Healing Circle of Love meditation
* Healing Trilogy: Love, Worthiness, Forgiveness meditations

 

Remember, you are One with God and profoundly loved without conditions - no matter who you are - no matter what you've done - no matter what you think about yourself.  The fact is you are a glorious spark of love and light and this moment holds hope and possibility - embrace it.

May your be profoundly blessed in this moment and in every moment after...

In love and light,
Kate

NOTE:  If you are contemplating suicide reach out for human help and angelic help - both are available to you.

Special Invite:  On this Thursday's Spiritual Whispers Radio Show Linelle will be joining me to share a message of hope to those who feel so separate and alone that they are contemplating suicide. 

As always, your feedback is welcome!